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Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
My New Year`s resolution is to stop pointing my car alarm remote at my apartment front door expecting to unlock it
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Haters can hate all they want... they don`t affect my money.
Try trick or treating in spandex... I`ve seen how much it can hold.
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!