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Working from home means I save money on train tickets and pants, but spend more on vodka and pizza.
When I die I want my body donated to science; specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
Step aside coffee, this job is going to take hard liquor.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, Iād like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.