Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Call me an optimist, but I always viewed my cup as half full…of Vodka!!
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?