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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
You know what the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you`re not in shape for it, it`s too far to walk back.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually encourage you to pick your nose.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.