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What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
Coffee...Meet your Maker!
Doctor: How`s your headache? Patient: She`s out of town.
Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" ... So I packed a lunch and went to work.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
I should come with a warning label.
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes