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If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
Match dot com, but for socks.
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
"Oh my god, you`ve gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?" - my mom