Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
I bet strippers look forward to that feeling of getting home and wearing a bra after a long day at work.
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!