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Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
If your wife has 2 phones, save both numbers under one name : “Wife” Never save them as "Wife1" and “Wife2" ~ a husband from the hospital
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.