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I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.