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Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
If you can read this please let me know ā because it means I blocked the wrong person.
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
Apparently, when asked "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F**kin` large ones" is not the correct answer.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
Statistically: 1 in 7 dwarfs are grumpy
It`s always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing domino`s"
A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, when you buy flowers because they`re also a snack for later.
Iām looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data