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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
When we give each other a thumbs up, it`s our way of mocking every other animal on earth.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
My problem is that all food is comfort food
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.