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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so f*ck off
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c`mon...even I`ve done THAT!"
SNAUGHLING: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
I’m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?