Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.