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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just β€˜Spend me’.
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
If ghosts existed, why are they all apparently from the last 100 years or so? Wouldn’t there be evidence of a Neanderthal ghost here and there?
"Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife`s question: "how does my make-up look?"
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)