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Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn`t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. I’m not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.