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I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
I only accept apologies in cash.
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.