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Men, remember to re-stock the spiders this weekend so she remembers why she keeps you around.
We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
i just caught a disease so rare that even i dont have it .
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
I know u r but what am I ?
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
I said my wife`s name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet`s empty...
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.