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The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
word of the day: nincomtard
I don`t mind that my wife goes out to play bingo every night. It`s the coming back home part that bothers me.
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!
I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?