Daily Silly Status

Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.

Now accepting applications for partners in crime. Please read all fine print:adult language and partial nudity may be required.

The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.

Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.

Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.

Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.

I have the rest of my life to be an adult.

I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P

I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth

I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.

None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.

Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.

Nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid.

That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...

Marrying your high school sweetheart is like taking the banker`s first offer on Deal or No Deal.