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Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
"The Twilight Zone" makes me long for the days when you could smoke on a spaceship.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
The only time I listen to a woman giving directions is when I use my GPS.
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
It`s no fun if you have permission.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?