Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
Me:"I had a dream about you." Girlfriend:"Awwwwww." Me:"Yeah, you died."
pudding... thats always a funny word
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.