Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
I`m not perfect, but I`m the best me there is or ever will be.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs