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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you`re free."
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
Dear Stomach: You`re bored, not hungry. Shut up.
"If Donald Duck doesn`t have to wear pants than neither do I!"- Me getting drunk at Disney World.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.