Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
You know that 200-foot high expansion bridge you drove over today? Just remember that it was built by the lowest bidder.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
After a certain point, the `F` on the thermometer no longer stands for Fahrenheit.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
I make a great second impression.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?