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The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
Women have closets full of `I have nothing to wear.`
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?