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Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
The best things in life require no pants.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
I plucked my first gray hair today ... Man, that lady was upset.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
I`m glad it`s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the sh!t I should be doing.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.