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For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Magician: Now I will cut the woman in half. Me: Why turn one problem into two?
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!