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I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I`m going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.