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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
Will you go with me to my therapist tomorrow? He thinks I`m making you up.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
Best Pregnancy T-Shirt… “9 Months Sober”
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.
I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.