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Sometimes I wish I was full of pizza instead of emotions.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
Own the day
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
Taught a man how to buy fish ... So much easier.
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
Do angry people know about naps?
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
One of these days I’ll realize that leaning forward in my car while accelerating does not make it go any faster.