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I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
I believe in love at first episode.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
There are sick days, paid holidays, and vacation days. What about "Don`t have any gas to make it to work days"