Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only way to open a pack of toilet paper is to fingerblast a hole through the plastic in one of the roll holes
Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.