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I wish my mind had a delete button.
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.