Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
My wife is pissed at me again...appearently I am breathing wrong.
When you realize that your car matches the one in the Amber Alert.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
If being an a$$hole was a professional sport, my face would be on a box of wheaties.
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??