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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
"I wanna f*ck you so hard right now." "What?!?" "Damn autocorrect, I meant hey."
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been canceled. In other news, my faith in humanity has been restored.
"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
Lies I`ll never stop telling: 1. I`d never put you in a home, mom. 2. It`s 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside