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I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking??
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
Never compliment a lady on her mustache no matter how magnificent it is