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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead. I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then.
I smoked weed once and realized spoons are just little bowls on sticks
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........