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Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
People don`t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
drinking while working out...it`s called Bacardio
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.