Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Iād drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.