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Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "PLOT TWIST!" and move on.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
I would want to change my name to `Nobody` on Facebook. So when someone updates something stupid it says `Nobody likes this`
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.