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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
Hey NSA, we all know you`re there now. So click the approve on my Candy Crush ticket request.
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Someone just told me to "Have a good morning". What about the rest of my day mother f*cker?
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
I received an email from a hacker that had accessed my bank account. It simply read, "LOL".
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun