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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
The best way to make a bad day better is by adding alcohol.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.