Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
In a parallel alternate universe, my cat and my dog have jobs and I chill at home.
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
You think I’m mean? If only you knew what I say in my head.
lifes a laugh, start living it!
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
Dear Stomach: You`re bored, not hungry. Shut up.
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)