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I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
oh look at the time, it`s time to not care
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
If anyone is interested, I’ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 1:00 PM until I’m escorted out by security.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn`t work here.
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.