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"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Edward Scissorhands will never win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.