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thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, you`re wrong. I`m wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.