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I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL
Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker.
Shark week is over, but I`m not taking my decorations down.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.