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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
Got tasered at speed dating again.
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
Here`s a crazy trick to avoid looking fat in pictures: Lose weight.