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Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.