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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?