Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
No one in my family has ever actually used the Olive Garden gift card. We just keep passing it down from generation to generation.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
once you delete your birthday from Facebook, you realize no-one ever gave a sh!t about you all along!
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
Good news everyone – my proctologist called and all the tests were negative. Bad news - his ring is missing...