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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
If I`ve offended you in the past, please accept my apology, and shove it up your a$$.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.