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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn`t open for you