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I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes… but we all know I’m Hilarious.
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Trust me... You don`t want my undivided attention.
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.