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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d love to bring a guest.
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from overexcitement.
Well, I`m going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it.
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.
I test drove a car last month. Apparently, you`re not supposed to keep the car for a month. At least that what this cop is telling me.