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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score…
When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
I`ve been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be "You said you`d be home from the bar three f*cking hours ago!"
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.