Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
I stopped going to AA because all of their stories were about how they hit rock bottom by waking up next to me.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-