Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
I stopped going to AA because all of their stories were about how they hit rock bottom by waking up next to me.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-