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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
FYI: You have to stop Facebook posting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.