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For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
Saying you like one political party over another, is like saying one filthy whore is prettier than the other filthy whore.
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
When the girl working the counter says "would you like fries with that?" say.."are you calling me fat??" then burst into tears. Free meal.
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
If he pauses a video game to text you, he`s probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.