Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
I noticed you`re not yourself today. I really like it.
Dear Diary, men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do that with pizza.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.