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Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it breathe. 2) If it does not look like it`s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".