Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
I just became a professional Counterfeiter, I even have the certificates to prove it.
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want
I dont believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day